If you’re writing a novel, especially your first one, there are a number of common mistakes you can make that will virtually guarantee that you lose most readers.
1. Story starts too slowly. This is by far the most common problem with first novels. Unfortunately, most readers are not known for their patience, especially with authors they don’t already read. They want you to deliver whatever you promised in your synopsis or sales blurb, and fast. There’s an old Hollywood adage that applies here: a story should start on the day that's different. Let us get to know your characters while something is happening on that day that's different, just before, or during, the inciting incident (the event that sets your story in motion).
2. Story does not "perform as advertised." This is another way of saying that your story does not appear to deliver the promise made in your packaging (your title, book cover, and synopsis). It's supposed to be a thriller but seems to be a romance, or it's supposed to be a London murder mystery but opens with two little girls playing hopscotch in the Philippines. Roundabout lead-ins and slow starts often cause readers to assume that you don't know what you're doing, even if you do. It's important to make sure that the book matches the expectations you set up in your synopsis in the first few pages, if possible. Otherwise, it’s like they’ve bought a box of corn flakes, but when they open it, Fruit Loops comes pouring out.
3. Too many characters introduced too quickly. This overwhelms the reader. It is like walking into a party and having the host introduce you to a dozen guests at once--chances are, you won't be able remember any of them. In your story, it's better to start off with one or two characters, let the reader get to know them a little bit, and then gradually introduce more. Also, try to choose names that begin with different first letters and have different numbers of syllables to help the reader distinguish between them. Many people speedread, and if you include three characters named Sharon, Sharika and Shannon, those who read fast will soon be very annoyed.
4. No clear-cut point of view. If your book were a movie, this is the equivalent of having the camera jump all over the place while the audience is trying to absorb itself in the story--first it's focused on one character, then on another character looking down from the ceiling, then looking at the first character as if viewed through the eyes of the second character, etc. The concept of point of view must be understood by the writer and used consciously and effectively. If you're unclear on this vital fiction writing technique, you should brush up on it.
5. Story has no distinct main character. When reading fiction, we have an inherent desire to identify with at least one of the characters as quickly as possible so we can get ourselves involved. We want to find someone we can root for, or root against. Most of us read in order to see how someone else grapples with an usual problem or situation--we imagine how we would react if we were in that character's shoes. The sooner you allow that to happen, the more involved the reader will become.
6. Too much bio/backstory information is presented. Practically every author I've known, myself included, suffers from this problem--we want to tell the reader everything about every character, and right from the beginning. However, today's readers are accustomed to having this information parceled out in small pieces while the action takes place. Otherwise, the story bogs down with unnecessary detail. Review the first few scenes in your book and honestly ask yourself: does the reader really need to know all this at this particular moment in the story? A good rule to follow: If in doubt, leave it out.
7. Flashbacks used too often and/or too early. Some fiction writing gurus profess that flashbacks should be used as little as possible, and I'm one of them. The main problem with flashbacks is that they cover events that already happened relative to the main storyline. We as readers instinctively know that, unless the story involves time travel, your heroine cannot do anything to change the past--her hands are tied. So, naturally, we become impatient for the writer to get on with the story. I believe flashbacks can have a place in any good story, but opening one with a flashback is really pushing your luck with readers.
One of the best tricks you can use to make flashbacks interesting for the reader is to save them for the middle or later part of the story, and to build up tension the point where the reader is dying to know what happened when little Edward was left alone in the garage or that rainy night when two strangers appeared at the front door.
8. Opening scenes lack enough tension. Each and every scene in your book should contain some form of tension or conflict to keep the reader interested in turning the pages. Tension can simply be defined as "the desire to know what happens next." This is paramount in the first few scenes of your book, because your reader has often not completely left his present surroundings and become absorbed in your make-believe world. You have to snag her on Page 1 and hold her still, keep her turning those pages until she’s fully hooked.
9. One or more scenes do not advance the plot. In any well-written story, every scene or chapter advances the plot. That is to say, at the end of every scene or chapter, the hero (and therefore the reader) knows something he didn't know at the beginning of that section. The plot thickens. The situation worsens. The heroine digs herself in deeper. If a scene doesn't advance the plot, the reader will get an idle feeling, as if the writer is just marking time. Often, new authors (and even old ones like me) will include one or more "warm up" scenes at the beginning of a book in which nothing much happens except that characters get to know each other, or they perform routine activities so the reader can get to know them. These scenes must be mercilessly cut.
10. Reader cannot emotionally connect with main character. Within a few pages, the reader should know who the main character is and what she wants, and especially what she is feeling. The reader should empathize with this character--not necessarily like the character, but should understand the character's general attitude about the story events, and therefore understand why the character is doing what he is doing (the motivation). If this does not happen, the reader gets a distant, left-out feeling…and will likely turn to another book or some other form of entertainment.
11. Too many seemingly unrelated plot threads. I've always enjoyed novels with vastly different plot threads that slowly converge, making you wonder, with delicious intrigue, how it all comes together. While this can look easy, it is tricky to pull off, because each and every thread must be engaging to the reader as a stand-alone story. Furthermore, we must trust that the author really will tie all these seemingly unrelated threads together at some point, and that it will all make sense. If the impatient reader (for example, a busy and somewhat jaded literary agent, if you’re trying to get your book traditionally published) sees no connection between the plot threads, she again may simply assume you don't know what you're doing and move on. So, for first novels, it's usually better to open with a plot thread that is clearly related to the title/genre/synopsis of the book, and then shift--with care--to the other threads.
12. Narrative is description-heavy. When considering a new novel, one of the things that literary agents and editors often do, as well as ordinary readers, is flip through the pages to see the mix of dialogue and description. (I have to confess, that as a reader, I do it, too) Passages of dialogue are generally easier to read and usually move the story along faster than descriptive passages. A book that's 90% description will appear heavy and imposing to many readers. Market research shows that today’s readers want a fairly even balance of dialogue and description. With most popular fiction, it's better to have more dialogue than description. I'm not saying that this is good from a literary point of view--it may well reflect a dulling of the average reader's (and my own) mind. But this is the way it is--novels that are heavily description-laden will not sell as well, all other things being equal, as balanced ones.
13. Description is loaded with "purple prose." This is often a problem in the opening paragraph of a book by a new writer. I can't tell you how many fantastic books I've read that started with a beautiful description of a sunset or other pastoral scene. However, these books were mostly written by literary masters, after they became literary master, with die-hard fans who would praise the authors’ laundry lists if they had access to them. So unless you are exceptionally gifted with this type of narrative expression, I include some action and dialogue in your story openings. If poorly done, this is the hallmark of an amateur, a person who believes every word he types is genius. You'll have plenty of opportunity to write poetic beginnings after you become rich and famous.
14. Dialogue is not interactive enough. This is a common problem I've encountered in first novels that are otherwise well written. Good dramatic dialog is not real speech; it mimics real speech, cuts out all the nonessential information and focuses on the interesting parts. You might say that good dialog is ordinary speech''s "greatest hits." It should also bounce back and forth between people like a tennis ball--we do not give each other long-winded oratories unless we're addressing an audience (at least, not unless we want to be considered bores). In general, you should keep your dialogue exchanges short and to the point, unless your character is actually giving a lecture. This is especially true in the opening chapter of a book.
15. Story starts too quickly. This brings us full circle, back to the opposite of (1), the story starting too slowly. We, as readers, do need a little time to get to know the characters so we can care about what happens to them Prologues can effectively be used for fast starts, but generally we don't care about any of the characters yet because we haven't had a chance to care. We’ve all read a million action scenes with car chases, fights, and shootouts—unless we have an emotional stake in the character(s), it’s all for naught. So, yes, your story must start quickly...but not so quickly that we don't have time to gain some empathy for the characters involved.
